One month down, a journey to go

I now understand the anxiety each Biggest Loser contestant feels when it comes to the weigh-in. When I put myself out there by starting this blog, I didn’t expect to wrestle with the emotions of an open weigh-in. It is really a vulnerable spot to be in and on the day I was to weigh-in, my insecurities started to flood my mind with questions. Did I lose enough weight? What will others think? If I only lose half of what I expected, what will next month look like?

Well… My first weigh-in was at the house of my good friends, Jonathan and Alysia Tarpley. They so kindly invited us over for a wonderful Chinese chicken salad lunch and an afternoon of chill time, but before we could dig in, I threw my shorts on and headed over to step on the scale. As the scale calculated my weight, I couldn’t help but hold my breath. WHAhaha 266.8 I couldn’t believe it. I lost 26.4 pounds. That’s incredible. The time and effort had really paid off.

But now I am rethinking the questions I had that morning. What would others think, if I didn’t lose very much or what would next month look like, if I only lost half of what I expected? These are telling signs that I have not arrived in my pursuit of a healthy self-concept. Should I be any less pleased with myself if I had only lost 12 pounds? Of course not, but this still tends to be the way I think. I have quite the journey still ahead of me and I am not sure if it has much to do with weight loss, but I am ready and willing to learn. Month two here we come.